Drinking Personalities

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Drinking Personalities

Some Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer

Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.

Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.

Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin

Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.

Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots

Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum ....The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Good Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two shit's about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay