English Tanslations

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Women's English

01. Yes = No

02. No = Yes

03. Maybe = No

04. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

05. We need = I want

06. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

07. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

08. We need to talk = I need to complain

09. Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

10. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

11. You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

12. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

13. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

14. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

15. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper....

16. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

17. I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

18. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

19. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

20. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

21. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

22. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

23. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.

24. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

25. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

26. The answer to "What's wrong?":

a. The same old thing = Nothing

b. Nothing = Everything

c. Everything = My PMS is acting up

d. Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole

Men's English

01. "I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

02. "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

03. "I'm tired." = I'm tired.

04. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

05. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

06. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

07. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

08. "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

09. "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

10. "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

11. "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

12. "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

13. "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

14. "I love you." = Let's have sex now.

15. "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

16. "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

17. "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

18. "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

19. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

20. (While shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!