Murphys Generic Laws

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Murphy's Generic Laws

If anything can go wrong, it will

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Everything goes wrong all at once

When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse

The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability

In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible

Things will get worse before they will get better. Who said things would get better?

Almost anything is easier to get into than out of

Everything costs more and takes longer

Any product cut to length will be too short

If you need n items of anything, you will have n-1 in stock

The most delicate component will be dropped

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted

Design flaws travel in groups

An object will fall so as to do the most damage

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet

After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself

When the going gets tough, everybody leaves

Nothing ever goes away

If you wait, it will go away.... having done its damage.... if it was bad, it will be back

If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break

Don't force it - get a bigger hammer

When all else fails, read the instructions

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment

Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later

You never find a lost article until you replace it

Interchangeable parts won't

The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for

No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper

In a queue, the other line moves faster

Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results

Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly

Everyone has a scheme that will not work

Nature sides with the hidden flaw

The hidden flaw never remains hidden

A little ignorance can go a long way.... in the direction of maximum harm

You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit.

Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool will discover something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition