Words of Wisdom
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as hey go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that can't be solved thru am suitable application of powerful explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I layed in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
My Reality Check, bounced..
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you're crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.